One of the toughest parts of moving forward after being hurt is letting go. There are reasons we hold on so tightly to the pain; reasons we lick the wounds; reasons we justify our rage; reasons we won’t let go. We suffered a blow which broke our hearts and wounded a relationship we needed and trusted.
Sometimes we wrap the pain around us like a trusted old quilt, remembering every detail of the event – what he said; how she acted; what it made us feel like; how it made us cry. It is not because we receive pleasure in feeling bad, but to let it go somehow erases what has been done, says we’re OK, and pardons the person responsible for the havoc in our lives.
Sometimes the hurt is the tie, the connection between us and the person who did us harm. Just as love is a connection – so is anger. Both emotions keep the attachment alive. Many a couple are physically divorced but not emotionally separated. They live every day replaying the details which put them in the current position.
Often people are afraid to forgive and move forward past the pain because it is the hold on the possibility of the person feeling remorse and crawling back. They’d rather choose to wallow in the mud of bitterness and self-pity. The reality? While individuals wallow in the mud of bitterness and self-pity, the perpetrator who hurt them is somewhere on the beach with toes in the sand, drinking sweet tea with lemon while having a ball.
There is no benefit to hanging on to past hurt. It serves only to take our focus off the bigger, better plans God has for our lives.
Take the time today; write down how you were hurt; how it made you feel; how much the pain has impacted your life. Then, read it over, rip it into tiny pieces, and burn it. Until we release it, we are bound and chained to a life of harm. We give the person who hurt us even more power over us.
No longer be the “one done in” but the “one undone.”
Release the hurt and the person who hurt you into the Hands of God. Roll the weight of that pain to the one Who cares for all. ( 1 Peter 5:7).